Missin My Granny

Yes I know you all are probably tired of hearing about me missing my granny, but seriously.....this is TOUGH.  I know this is just a season of my life that I must go through and grow in Christ, but I don't think my heart has ever hurt so bad.  I was so mad at myself on Christmas b/c I had soooooo much to be thankful for and enjoy but I my insides hurt so bad I almost couldn't stand it and found myself feeling sorry for me.  I just need prayer, from all of you and from myself.  Prayer to get me through this season.  Prayer to learn, grow and lean. 

My favorite picture from the holidays! I WILL be scrapping this just as soon as my Cabin Fever Kitarrives! Hurry! Get yours before she is all out!!!!! :D

Just a Note

Just wanted to check in with you all during this busy time of the year! I hope all your holidays are happy and full of love and family! Enjoy this time. It is precious and you never know when it might end or someone you love may go HOME.  Home for the holidays has a whole new meaning for me this year.

Merry Christmas and lots of love to you all! :D

Thought I'd share a project I made for a friend! She loved it by the way!

Wednesday 12-14-11-Grief Stricken

It is the eve of my beloved granny's birthday.  This time of year has been much harder than I have EVER anticipated.  My heart is heavy and empty all at the same time.  I know it is tough when you lose a loved one but this? This is almost just unbearable.  I sit here in front of the computer, writing on my blog to let out feelings, as tears are streaming down my face trying to find peace in the fact that my granny is not in any pain.  But my pain and selfishness is all I can think about right now.  I thought I was so close to my grandpa, and I was, I am....my whole life revolved around him.  I mean I ate, breathed and slept my grandpa.....and when he past I honestly thought I would die right along with him and could not figure out how my life would go on.  It has, and it will this time.  But somehow, this emptiness has pierced me to my innermost being and even with God on my side and My God to lean on I cannot find the strength to patch the hole.  It's times like this we all need to be extremely grateful for our loved ones, as obnoxious as some can be, because when they are no longer on this earth......they are no longer here.  I keep waiting to get a text from her that says, "hi darlin just wanted to see what you were up today." Or that phone call when she says, "I just wanted to hear your voice and a text message wouldn't do it today."  This time last year she was with me in my home to celebrate the holidays with me and my kiddos and family and now she is having Christmas with Jesus.  I am happy for her and sad for me.  I was so excited and she was too about coming to my house in January to spend some time with me and the kiddos and celebrate Jacksons 2nd birthday. 

I have lost the spirit of the season this year.  I have lost my motivation to do anything almost.  I have presents galore, christmas is next week and hardly any of them are wrapped.  I know things will get better, time will heal the pain....blah blah blah.....just let me pity party.......

I am thankful I got 30 years with my granny.  I am thankful for all the wonderful things she taught me.  I am thankful she lived a full life.  I am thankful she is saved and singing praises face to face with my Jesus.  I am thankful she is not in any more pain, oh how that must have been agony and I gave her such a hard time about that.

Thank you for letting me vent, grieve....whatever you want to call it.  This was much easier than writing by hand.  I pray you all have a safe night and a very merry christmas with your family.

December Daily

Ok I officially am not very good at this blogging thing! Ugh! No matter how hard I try.  However, I do have this new obsession with journaling so maybe this will help me.  I have discovered the importance of recording thoughts, feelings and memories in general.  With the passing of my grandma a few weeks ago and the wounds so fresh still it is deep on my mind.  I had a chance to read over the few pages of a journal she began and I read through my grandpa's journal and it was very inspiring.  I am encouraged to start now b/c I don't want to wait until late in life to begin.  I want my kiddos to be able to read about our life while they were growing up.  The happy times, the frustration and all that goes with it. 

No onto the december daily album.  Last year was the very first year I did and I swore I would not do another one b/c for me it felt like such a chore to write, record, take pics and post every single day.  However, again after losing my grandma I decided to go ahead.  You see last year she spent a little over two months with us and the very first day in my journal was the day we left her house with her to come home......memories.....and it just reminded me how very important it is to record these special times because you never know when those important and special people will be called home.  So, when we returned from my grandma's funeral, after being in new mexico for 2 weeks I needed some creative time to just let go and I created my album.  I hope you all enjoy it....I only have the one picture and I probably will not post daily pics on here b/c I'm just not very good with that! :D

Happy week to ya!

It's been a while!

It's crazy how time flies and gets away from you right?

Well in the time since I have last written we have spent summer time with family, the 4th of july, started kindergarten, gone to football games, parades, started dance, soccer, etc....honestly the list goes on and on!

Just wanted to pop in and let you know I have not forgotten my lonely ol blog and I'm hoping to get back to writing on here regularly.  I have some creative art projects in my head that I want to begin working on very soon! As soon as I do I will share here! :D

Have yourself a great evening! Here is a picture of my cutie pies! :D

Life Lessons

God has been speaking to my heart a lot lately.  It's crazy how you can be involved in situations around you and God uses their circumstance to teach a lesson.  I find myself standing in amazement and in AWE of my God a LOT here lately.  I find comfort in knowing he is always right there waiting for me. 

My friends child is still recovering from the swimming pool accident that happened almost 2 weeks ago.  I have watched her hurt, cry, be angry, frustrated....almost every human emotion possible and all I can do is pray for her.  Which can speak volumes don't get me wrong but the human side of me wants to DO something to fix it.  It breaks my heart when another friend/mama is hurting because her child is hurting and there's nothing even she can do.  I cannot say I know what she's going through or that I even understand, but rest assured that I definitely am learning how blessed I am that my children are currently happy and healthy. 

She is struggling with his anger/violent stage, which has got to be wearing on a mama's spirit to say the least.  I spent a few hours with them this afternoon, and although he did not have a full blown episode I got a small dose of what she's been dealing with.  She is one patient mama, God bless her is all I have to say.  She speaks sweet and calmly to him, when she is really crying out inside.  She is consistent when it would be easier to give in to his demands.  She has a smile on her face when I know she would love to sit in a corner and cry. Or at least I know I would.  I know she has her moments in tears but honestly, GOD bless her because she has been keeping most of it together for the sake of her kiddos.

I made a little something to hopefully just brighten her a day a little and give her some encouragement from God's word.  The idea started with a perpetual calendar kinda thing....it turned out into a little booklet....but there are 24 bible verses on each page.....and each page is full of thoughtfulness and prayer...

So next time you have a friend who needs a smile, a pick me up or just some encouraging words from THE WORD try making one of these:

These are just a few pictures!

Count your blessings, love your babies and have a blessed night!

Time with the Father

I am at a loss for words......every day I look forward to reading Ann Voscamps blog and just to be quiet and still at the moment.  The music is beautiful and brings me to the verge of tears. every. single. day. There are times when I read the same thing more than once a day, just to hear the beautiful music and be in the quiet, in the stillness of the day and just be.

Yesterday was a wonderful day to worship the Lord. Oh my gosh. Words cannot express the gratitude i felt in my heart just to be in the Saviors presence twice. and all day.  We have a wonderful church and I really learned soooo much yesterday! Our church teaches and preaches line by line in the bible and I am being fed soooo much.  I find myself yearning to spend more time in the word every day.  Every day I fail at that though and I am working on making more time for my Father.

When the day is long, hot, wearisome, busy, chaotic, loud, messy, short......whatever, i can find rest in my heavenly father and know that he is WAITING on me to spend time with him! How awesome is that? There are people in our lives that we long to spend time with and with the busy-ness of life there isn't always time but you and I can rest assured that our heavenly counselor, friend and father is waiting on YOU and ME.....for us to spend time with him....HE is always there, always makes time for us and longs for us to find HIM and just be, in his presence. 

What a mighty God we serve!

Have a blessed Monday!